The Rules Of The Game by the 2014 Boston Red Sox

     Notice I don't title this post "How to Play Baseball, by the 2014 Boston Red Sox".   That's because this bunch isn't playing baseball.  They've invented their own game and it's so bizarre and convoluted that I can't even come up with a name for this odd mutation of the traditional bat and ball game played on a diamond shape field. 

    Rule 1:  The guy throwing the ball and the guys behind him in the field are on opposite teams.   The fielders must endeavor to keep the ball from reaching the white square bag where the runner, their teammate, is headed.   This is called the Keep-Away Principle. 

   Rule 2:  If a ball is hit in the air, the fielders must allow it to drop to the ground so that their teammates can run around the diamond and touch as many white square bags as possible.   This is the Gravity Rule

  Rule 3:  When there are men on base, the batter has several choices.  He can:
      a) swing at balls thrown his way that he cannot reach with his bat
      b) watch three balls thrown his way sail right over the white pentagonal plate
      c) if he should inadvertently make contact with the ball, it's okay as long as one of his teammates in the field can catch it or pick it up and throw it to the white square bag to his right before his foot touches said bag.   Proceed to bag as slowly as possible. 

  Rule 4:  He who stands on a mound of dirt and throws the ball to the guy standing next to the white pentagonal plate must either throw it directly over the plate or so far away from it that the guy with the bat cannot reach it.  

  Rule 5:  Points are scored by the number of dropped balls, men left in the vicinity of the white bags after three outs are made, and most balls thrown far away from the pentagonal plate.  If the guy with the bat hits it out of the yard, the guy on this hill gets bonus points.  

 Got it?   Now go put on some uniforms and try to figure out who's on whose team.  Looks of confusion are worth 5 points apiece.  Hands thrown up in the air in abject frustration are worth 10.   Play...something! 

Was the 2013 Season a Fluke?

   With the 2014 Red Sox picking up where they left off in 2012, as if 2013 never happened, it begs  the question:  was that World Championship season a mere fluke?   The Red Sox last year were a talented group, but they weren't the most talented of all 30 teams in MLB.   They won with some luck, career years from the likes of Daniel Nava, Shane Victorino, John Lackey, Clay Buchholz before his injury, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, and a defense up the middle that included Stephen Drew, Dustin Pedroia, and Jacoby Ellsbury.   They had a lot of team chemistry for sure, and a will to win that had not been seen in previous years, but all of that has disappeared with the change of the calendar year.

     Is the player turnover from last season to this one responsible for the return to futility?   Did all the mojo leave with Stephen Drew, Jacoby Ellsbury, and Jarrod Saltalamacchia?   Or did Bobby V-style bad karma come with the likes of AJ Pierzynski, Edward Mujica, Grady Sizemore, Burke Badenhop and Chris Capuano.   Capuano is certainly not part of the problem and Sizemore, while he fooled the Sox into thinking he could be an impact player with a blazing Spring Training, isn't as big of a problem as Pierzynski, Mujica and Badenhop have been.   Pierzynski, in particular, had an unsavory reputation precede him.   Mujica and Badenhop have just been ineffective.  

      What of the young players that were supposed to make this season at lea st somewhat fun to watch?   It seems Jackie Bradley Jr and Xander Bogaerts have been dragged down with the rest of the team.   Bogaerts, in particular, is off to a disappointing start after being such a dynamic force in the playoffs and having a very solid Spring Training.   His fielding has been woeful and his approach at the plate has taken a step back (Pierzynski School of Plate Discipline, perhaps?).  

      Let's be clear on one thing:  I am not expecting the Red Sox to win a World Series every year.  I'm not expecting them to repeat this year.   I do, however, want them to at least be competitive, and by that I don't mean competing with the Astros for the top draft pick.   I want to see Bogaerts and Bradley start to live up to their potential and stop being dragged down into the morass of malaise that has ensnared the rest of the team.   It consumed the offense and defense first and now it's pulled the starting pitching right down with it.   Lackey, Buchholz and Lester have all taken turns playing pinata in the last four games, with the only reprieve being a solid start from Doubront.  

       Another depressing reminder of 2012 is this team's atrocious play at home.   So far, the last place team in the AL East has gone 4-7 at Fenway.   So much for home field advantage!   Like 2012, the 2014 Red Sox are one step forward, two steps back.   One great year, sandwiched between what's looking like two miserable ones.   It may still be early, but this isn't Spring Training.  Unless MLB has changed the rules, April games count in the standings as much as games in September and the deeper the hole the Red Sox dig early in the season, the harder it is going to be to crawl out.   Get your shit together, Red Sox, and get it together in a hurry.   What's the point of going worst to first if you're going right back down to worst again?  
    

Where Have You Gone, 2013 Red Sox?

     It is very early in the season, but so far, the 2014 Red Sox are making last season's World Championship run look like a fluke.   Injuries are piling up out of the gate and the Sox are playing some listless, uninspired baseball in the month of April.   If this keeps up, it's going to be a long, painful, 2012-esque season.

  Perhaps the 2014 Red Sox are going the route of the 2013 Giants, who followed up their 2012 World Series championship with the dreaded "hangover season".    Perhaps the magic had 10/30/13 expiration date.   Perhaps this is the "bridge year" for the Red Sox that 2013 was supposed to be.   One thing is certain:  Right now, "every little thing" is far from "alright".