Has anyone seen Commander Kick-Ass? He's gone missing. He was supposed to report to the mound at Rogers Centre tonight at 7:05, but some other guy showed up instead. He looks a lot like the Commander, a.k.a. Josh Beckett, but he sure as hell doesn't pitch like him. We've seen That Other Guy on the mound before, in Philly during interleague play and for the better part of April, but most of the time, we see The Commander instead. Guess even ass-kickers need a vacation every now and then.
The Sox won tonight, thanks to the lumber. Quel surprise! It took 10 runs to close the deal thanks to some 8th-inning shenanigans by our high-wire closer who looked about as discombobulated as That Other Guy Who Looks Like Beckett. Big Papi partied like it was June at the plate with a 2-RBI double and a dinger. Everyone in the lineup, even Gonzo The Glove, he of the .210 average, chimed in with a hit. Ricky Romero, one of the few rookies the Sox knock around this season (they OWN this kid) was chased after 3 2/3.
So I hear the quirky Rays skipper Joe Maddon dipped into the Grecian Formula to spark his team in anticipation of a "themed road trip". Ummm...bring me up to speed here: since when do baseball road trips have themes? MLB Fan House has a hilarious "Dugout" column about Maddon's latest exploit, featuring a parody of those ubiquitous "Just for Men" ads. Will the dye job work? For the sake of our Sox, let's hope not. Besides, I just can't see Tito sporting a rug; it just ain't right and it's scary on so many levels... The dome stays chrome.
LET'S GO RED SOX!!!!
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